"Where you now stand is a result of thoughts and feelings that you have offered before, but where you are going is a result of your perspective of where you now stand." 
~Esther Hicks
Sunday, 14 April 2013 22:42

Choose a New Perspective

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I wrote in a previous post about how the first step to removing blocks that prevents us from living fully is to witness our fears. I briefly wrote about another step according to Gabrielle's Bernstein's book May Cause Miracles (see more about this book in this Month's Stuff We Love feature) which is to choose a new and loving perspective.

I was reminded of this example through a story that was shared with me recently. There was a woman who was feeling resentful towards her partner for a choice he had made that she did not agree with. It was something that bothered her for months and all she focused on was how much of an inconvenience this decision was going to be for her and how selfish he was to make it. She recently had a discussion with him, and for the first time decided to see things through a new perspective. The amazing thing was that it totally changed the way she saw the situation. She no longer suffered and felt resentful for the decision that he made and was actually able to see the benefit of that decision. Now the situation did not change, but what changed was the lens from which she was now viewing the situation. Don't get me wrong it was a very difficult shift to make, but once she made it, it changed the way she felt which influenced her experience and interactions with her partner for the better.
 
This is why I love Wayne Dyer's quote; "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change."  There are so many things that cause us pain; however the majority of our pain and suffering is caused by how we are choosing to perceive our circumstances. Choosing a new perspective is not easy because oftentimes we feel right and valid in our views and opinions. I love another Wayne Dyer quote where he says,"Attachment to being right creates suffering. When you have a choice to be right, or to be kind, choose kind and watch your suffering disappear."  This is something that is very difficult for most of us to do, myself included! The ego LOVES to be right and make others wrong. The ego also loves for us to take on the role of a victim, blame others and refuse to look through loving lenses. Changing the way you look at something means you give up the story you have written about it and give it a more empowered meaning; one that removes judgement and resentment.
 
I see this especially in relationship. Focusing on what the other is not giving us, rather than choosing to see what is good in them. It never seems to amaze me when I choose to consciously see the good in another; I find more things that are good about them. I've written before that we are always collecting evidence to prove our thoughts and beliefs, so whatever you are focusing and looking for, whether good or bad; you will find it!
 
We must learn to reframe and change how we view situations in our lives that are causing us pain. The career you have that is not your passion, instead of it causing you pain and making you unhappy, why not see it as a temporarily and beautiful opportunity to gain more skills and as a vehicle to fund your business and future investments? Instead of that co-worker always being annoying, negative and argumentative, why not see it as a great opportunity to build your spiritual muscle? Instead of your teenager's angst being something that is troublesome and aggravating, why not see it as an opportunity to show unconditional love and patience? Regardless of any situation you find yourself in, there is always a choice and another lens from which it can be viewed from.

 

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